What To Do About Kids and Technology

"Leave my Playstation alone."

Said by my 3-year-old?  Nope, that was said by me, to him, after he was complaining that I left my game in there from the night before.  I mean really, just because I taught you how to operate the thing doesn't mean it's yours.  I realize we use it to play your Thomas the Train DVDs, but it's still mine.  In short, slow down and back away from the machine.

What I'm getting at is that kids today (said in my best exasperated grandpa voice) learn quickly, and with technology as it is, this is definitely a mixed blessing.

Teaching him to load his own DVD into my Playstation was simple, and the only hard part about it was teaching him to keep his fingers off of the shiny side.

  "Look at my boy, world.  He can open up a plastic case, take out a round disc, and then put this disc into the designated slot of my 3rd generation media device.  Next up, open heart surgery."

Oh Chris Daughtry, how right you were when crooning about being careful what you wish for, because you just might get it all (and then some you don't want).

Point being, nearly every device we own can now access the Internet and our kids are only a few menu options away from exposure to anything and everything.  Don't underestimate them.  I can spin circles around the generation that came before me with regards to computers and technology and can only assume it's just a matter of time before my offspring are doing the same to me. 

In addition to being able to load his own DVDs, my oldest already knows how to pause, fast forward, rewind, and re-start.  I beam with pride when he pauses something and runs to the potty on his own, but also cringe with fear knowing that this device is connected to the Internet and wonder how long it will be before I poke my head into the living room between getting dinner ready and setting the table only to find him on YouTube.

You know that Subaru commercial where the Dad is giving driving advice to his seemingly five year old daughter sitting in the driver's seat of his car?  But just as he hands her the keys we find out he is only picturing her at that age and in reality she is all grown up and not Daddy's little girl anymore? 

The message being: don't blink, they grow up fast.  This is one bit of advice I feel comfortable passing on even though my oldest still wears pull-ups to bed.

Wasn't it just yesterday that he was sitting in his high chair eating puffs, with more then half of them landing on the floor?  Then how is it possible that today he was telling me we haven't watered our plants in two days and followed that up by asking me why I was wearing the same shirt as yesterday.

Because it's the weekend, your mother is sick of doing laundry, and I miss college.  That's why.

So yeah, they grow up fast.  That is why I'm putting max effort into mastering every device my kids "own" before they start spinning circles around me.  With today's technology, there is no room for our parent's lament that went something like, "These crazy kids and their CD players and video games, I'll never understand it all." 

Not to overdramatize the situation, but this is a title fight, and if you take your eyes off of the opponent for just a second, you will lose.

Make it your business to understand it all.

Keep your approach simple - get to know everything they own inside and out.  Make it a point to teach yourself about what each device does, why it does it, and most importantly, why your kid likes it.

To the Leapster thing my 3-year-old got for a birthday gift recently:  Why do you have a USB port and what exactly do you need Internet access for?  I see lots of kids not much older then mine with a Nintendo DS in hand and hope that their parents know these thing have wireless communication features.  How long until those Hess Trucks that come around during Christmas have Wi-Fi capabilities?

Some of the most cutting edge toys in my day didn't even hold a candle to what is out there right now.  The Nintendo Robot, R.O.B., helped me and my friends master Gyromite, but couldn't place a phone call or even control the volume on the TV.  Arguably the baddest (best) and most expensive Transformer of the late 80s was Omega Supreme, and even he could only boast flashing lights and some pretty basic movements.

No excuses in this one parents.  If you can navigate your interactive TV guide, find the weather on your smart phone, or search the Internet for a new casserole recipe, then you have the ability to learn about any of your kid's devices.

The sooner you get your head in the game, the sooner it will stop spinning.

'Brad the Dad' is a parent columnist and can be reached at bradmarmo@gmail.com.  Follow him on Facebook or Twitter @readbradthedad.